02:00 thoughts.

As I type this post, my eyes are probably half closed. It's a bunch of stuff that is on my mind now so pardon me if I sound random. I might just wake up tmr, read this post again and realise how these thoughts make absolutely no sense hahaha.

#1 Have you ever come across this situation whereby you want to reminisce about a happy occasion that happened years ago, but you can't seem to fully recall it? It's as if the reminiscences are being thrown to the back of your mind and are meant to be forgotten. Well, I had this experience a few times. One day I was trying (not exactly trying, but y'know how some stuff will remind you of a certain memory? yeah..) to remember some of the happy or sad moments that I experienced when I was 7 to 10 years old, but I somehow just couldn't describe the event entirely. I could only recall certain parts of the memory, it felt like that there were more moments that were worth remembering. Maybe it's because our brain has a limited capacity to store memories? I doubt so. However, if I think hard enough, I may be able to squeeze out some little fun moments from the past. How I wish I can remember all that's happened in my life and relive those moments. Beause I miss being a young child, I miss not having to make my own life decisions and giving a damn about my future.

#2 Why is it that some friends will drift apart when they start to lead different lives? I really don't understand. Is it because the friendship isn't strong enough to withstand the physical distance between the two? Or the people themselves have changed? I always thought absence makes the heart grow fonder, but in some cases, it may not be true. In my short 18 years, I myself have lost a few friends for no reason. We just drift apart after moving to different schools or level. It's really weird. When I think about the enjoyable times I spent with them, it literately becomes a memory because I don't ever hang out with them again. Even if I coincidentally bump into them, it's just an awkward smile or worse still, no acknowledgement. I recently bumped into my kindergarten best friend, we made eye contact, I smiled at her but she didn't smile back. Hah, maybe because I didn't smile wide enough so she didn't see me or she pretended she didn't see me. I hope it's not the latter. Can you believe that a person whom you were once so close with, becomes like a stranger to you? Sometimes I wish I continued holding on to the friendships by taking the initiative to keep in touch. I guess some things aren't meant to be forever. And that's sad :( Indeed, friends come and go, only the true friends will stay by you. I'm thankful for my friends who are still with me through the different stages of my life. You know who you are <3

#3 Ever since I got into JC, the number of tests I failed is definitely more than the number of tests I passed. And I'm not proud of that. I think I'm so numbed by the feeling of failure that even if I fail a test once more, it doesn't matter because it's the norm to fail in JC, you see. I seriously need to get rid of this negative feeling and get cracking with my revision or rather, catching up with my work haha. No more failing (this applies to after block tests heh)! Easier said than done, but I will must try!

I definitely remember everything that happened when I was in Europe 3 years back. One of the best memories :)

Here's an old song I heard on the radio last week. The chorus sounded so familiar when I heard it at Subway so I youchoob it and now it's in my Spotify playlist haha.

"Superman (It's Not Easy)" by Five for Fighting

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naïve

I'm just out to find

The better part of me

I'm more than a bird,

I'm more than a plane

I'm more than some pretty face beside a train

It's not easy to be me

I wish that I could cry

Fall upon my knees

Find a way to lie

'Bout a home I'll never see

It may sound absurd but don't be naïve

Even heroes have the right to bleed

I may be disturbed but won’t you concede

Even Heroes have the right to dream

And it's not easy to be me

Up, up and away, away from me

Well, it's alright

You can all sleep sound tonight

I'm not crazy or anything

I can't stand to fly

I'm not that naïve

Men weren't meant to ride

With clouds between their knees

I'm only a man in a silly red sheet

Digging for kryptonite on this one way street

Only a man in a funny red sheet

Looking for special things inside of me

Inside of me, inside of me [2x]

I’m only a man in a funny red sheet

I’m only a man looking for her dream

I’m only a man in a funny red sheet

It's not easy.

It's not easy to be me.

Goodnight. Xoxo.